5 MINUTES!

Disclaimer:  In case I might get responses out of this:  I totally respect anyone who has made their choice to send their children to a public or private institution, just like you should respect ours for homeschooling our children.  It is A choice!  We are ALL responsible to the good Lord for how WE raise our children, just like you are responsible for how you raise yours.  I get that.  I respect that.  
This is NOT written to put any "guilt trips" on anyone........this is MY feelings and how "I" was feeling today.  We are unabashedly a homeschooling family.  It is the choice WE made for OUR family.  If you feel like this will "offend" you, or you are feeling a little "guilt" this morning, this blog post will not be for you.  Even so, if you are a parent with kids in public/private school (I have attended both), it still might be a blessing to you.  I hope it is :)  This is MY blog and just like being in my home, please respect this as if you were in my Living room with grateful speech!  Thanks

I had a moment today ya'll.........I was busy trying to spend a few minutes to get our oldest son off to his full time job, an hour away as everyone around are rejoicing sending their kids off to school.  I miss it........I crave it.  I only have two more years left of homeschooling and while I am looking forward to my future daughter in loves, grandbabies and what the future holds, people told me when my boys were little, to cherish it because it will go by in a flash........and I didn't listen.

Our oldest, left at his K5 graduation in 2000 and today leaving for work today, Age 21.  

I miss the scurry of my oldest and how he was SO in love with the new school year.  The excitement of new territory.  New books.  Learning.  Hands on crafts.  "Let's dissect a shark mom!".  Even the at one time dreaded 8 hours a day of non stop piano practice.  Or "Hey mom.  Guess what Titanic fact or book I found?" or "Mom, listen to this piano piece."  Today, my house is quiet.  I spent 5 MINUTES getting my oldest ready to go to his job and I took a photo.  He's 21 now and doing fantastic at his job.........but I had a longing in my heart to go back.  I MISS it.  I am in tears today. Many many tears.

Our middle son.  Left, K5.  Right, the other day trying on a suit for his childhood bff's wedding in October.  Will be registering for college this week.  20 years old.

I sit around and observe other moms.  I watch as I hear with great sadness "I don't miss it" or "how someone is excited to be getting rid of their young child for their entire day!!" or even more "how much they can't wait to get THEIR life back".  I am sorry.......when I became a mother, which has been my life long desire to become a wife AND a mother, when I got MARRIED, it was NO longer MY life.  It was OUR life/lives.  When I became a wife to Aaron, it was OUR life.  When we became parents, it was OUR family's life.  I will have PLENTY of time for MY time when our children grow up, move out, get married etc.

Even today, It's a constant battle with balancing family life with work, jobs, friends, church to fight for family time.  Oh we do.......and sometimes I have to put my foot down but I don't regret it at all!

Today, this morning, there wasn't any back to school photos of my 3.  I just have one now, and he's a junior this year.  He will be doing a couple of classes in our local homeschool co-op and the rest at home.  I spent about 5 ish minutes gathering stuff to help my oldest get out the door for his long day as he leaves and gets there early for possible manager training at his job.  I just finished transcripts for our middle son, who just turned 20.  He will be quitting his job the end of this week that he's been at for 5 years with the local beekeeper.  His boss has been through 20+ employees during that time and he has been the only one that has stayed the long haul.  He has been a very faithful and dependable employee.  He registers for college this week.  He is getting his resume together to apply for a job within his trade that he wants to train in.  Today, I will be sitting with our youngest and going over our expectations, curriculum etc.  While I AM looking forward to this, the sadness is overwhelming that time doesn't stop for ANYONE or ANYTHING.  It goes in a flash and I long and miss that time with my babies.  I sit here and type this with old photos that I am scanning on the couch and 3 snoring bulldogs around me.  It is TOO QUIET.  Aaron and I are incredibly beaming with PROUDNESS of our boys.

We wished we would have had atleast one more child, maybe more.  People look at me like I've lost my cotton picking mind! Or I have 3 horns on my head lol.   EVERY child is a blessing.  I take my calling seriously as a wife & mother. This is what I was born to do.  THIS IS MY JOB and while it is difficult at times, I love it.  I am thankful for it.

                              

 Our youngest son.  16.  Starting his Junior year, sigh!

I remember when we first started and I would get responses like "well what DO YOU DO all day?" or "I couldn't do THAT.  I would go out of my mind.  Bored.  Stir crazy being around my children ALL day."  Unfortunately, at that time I felt the need to validate my job description.  I don't anymore ::smiles::  Well you know what???   I love it.  I miss it.  I crave it. I want to go back!  But, you know.......I can't.

So as you are getting your children ready, REGARDLESS of what choice you make to educate them, SAVOR it.  Document it.  Enjoy it.  If you do homeschool, cherish it.  Take more field trips.  More trips WITHOUT the pressures of home and electronics.  Spend time with friends.  With family.  Do more hands on projects.  Less time on electronics and computers.  Less time worrying about a clean house, clean dishes/bathrooms.  Develop the love of learning.  The busyness of this world wants our families.  They WANT our children.  Try to be protective of your family time.  Time with your children, especially before they are married etc.  You can't go back.  Also as homeschoolers, you feel like you have to do EVERYTHING in order to "fit in" or do it all.  You do NOT!  Yes do things.....don't be secluded but you don't HAVE to do it all.

Oh and one more thing.......this is my heart:

I can remember spending more time with our elderly couples at our church than my own parents.  I sat next to them during service.  They were My "grandparents".  When they were't doing well physically, mom & I went and sat with them.  Talked with them.  Talked to them and NOT at them.  They have so much wisdom.  They have been through so much more than we have and are teaching us how to live in the future.  We spent time with our family yesterday at church.  We saw a lady who the boys know as "Mary of AL" who is about to be 86.  She was there when Aaron and I were dating and then married.  She watched as our boys were born and came into the world.  She helped watch them in the nursery.  My boys spent time with her.  Talking to her.  Interacting with her ("so much for lack of socialization" lol.)  She adores our boys, who are now 21, 20 and 16.  She sends us precious notes in the mail.  Her comment yesterday was a like a knife in my stomach.  I couldn't breathe.  She said "I am so thankful and excited to see your boys today.  They are so sweet to TALK to me and spend time with me.  Most of the younger crowd just IGNORE me and walk past me as if I am not even here".  I could go one direction but I won't.  Only to say, these people are some of the best ones around.  They have SO much love and wisdom to give.  They want to be talked to, validated, and know that you care just like anyone else.  Take time to spend time with them.  Go to nursing homes and spend time with them.  Ask them what life was like growing up.  What their childhood was like.  How they are doing?   Not just will they enjoy it but I think you will be MORE blessed by it than they will.  I promise.   Oh and I went back and thanked my mom for instilling in us the value of these sweet gems.  Thankful for the time.  The value of them in our lives.  I can't imagine my life without them.  My mom always said "Do for them what you can while they are still here because once they are gone, you can't do for them anymore".  So so true!